Copyright © 2008 by Patricia Davids

“Well? Are you going to tell him or not?”

Annie Delmar chose to ignore the question from her roommate, Crystal Mally. Instead, she continued folding the freshly laundered clothes in the white plastic hamper on the foot of her twin bed. The smell of hot cotton vied with the dryer sheet’s mountain floral scent.

Hoping to change the subject, Annie asked, “Are you going out with Jake again tonight?”

“Jake and I broke up.” Crystal said with an indifferent shrug as she continued to buff her bright red fingernail.

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

Annie carried a stack of knit tops to the chest of drawers in the corner. She didn’t want to talk about her current problem. It was too soon. It didn’t seem real. Why had God done this to her?

No, it isn’t right to blame God. I did this to myself.

Crystal said, “Jake’s a loser, like all the guys I date, and don’t change the subject. Are you going to tell the guy?”

“I haven’t decided.” With a weary sigh, Annie closed the top drawer of the blue painted dresser and stood for a moment with her hands on the chipped and scratched surface.

Crystal plopped down on Annie’s bed and leaned back against the headboard. Her short bleached blond hair framed a face that was pale and too thin. The lacy black top she wore was too tight and the stack of colorful bangles on her wrists only served to accentuate her skinny arms. As usual, she had splashed on too much of her cheap perfume. “I don’t think he needs to know. Besides, I thought you said he was being transferred overseas in a few months.”

“That’s what he told me.”

“So, if you don’t tell him soon, how are you going to find him later?”
The door to the room swung inward as their housemother came in with a second hamper of laundry. “That’s a good question, Crystal. I’d like to hear your answer, Annie.”

Moving back to her bed, Annie began folding her jeans. “If he moves away and I don’t know where he went then I can’t tell him anything, can I?”

She glanced at the woman who had taken her in when she had been at the lowest point of her life. Marge Lilly stood with the laundry basket balanced against her hip. On the far side of fifty and slightly plump, Marge managed to look both motherly and formidable at the same time. Her eyes seemed to see right through Annie, but she didn’t say anything. After a few seconds of awkward silence, Annie felt compelled to answer the unspoken censure.

“My lack of action would be an excuse to pretend the decision is out of my hands.”

”Is that true?”

“No,” she admitted with quiet resignation.

“So why not make a decision?” Marge asked gently.

Annie pressed a hand to her stomach to calm her queasiness. “Because I’m afraid I’ll make the wrong one.”

“And?” Marge prompted.

“And it’s easier to do nothing.”

“Doing nothing is a choice, Annie.”

“But not a good one. I need to make good choices.” Annie tried to add conviction to her voice, but she failed miserably.

“You are in charge of your life, Annie. Just remember, God is always with you and your friends are here to help.”

Annie nodded, but she still felt very much alone and truly frightened of what the future held.

Copyright © 2009 Patricia Davids
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